I don’t even know how to start this letter properly,
there’s no way I can say this things without hurting any of you,
but I’ll do my best.
As you might have heard : I was forced to take my primary tumblr down (troubles with school’s staff). I listened to them, but I didn’t erase this one. I mean, they couldn’t make me let go of everything I loved !!!!
Tumblr, the sad, depressing quotes and pictures, the Columbiner-fandom,
it was all that I had to make me understand that I wasn’t the only one who felt the way I did.
But gradually - thanks to the school’s staff, yes - I lost interest in tumblr. I lost interest in columbine and was able to let go of the sad pictures ( I admit, I still feel like…’drawn’ to them. But seeing a pic of someone slitting his wrists doesn’t give me the urge to cut anymore).
meaning I was able to overcome my depression. I have never been happier in the last two years than I am now.
Yes, I admit, the tumblr-virus still has me. I am still around here. However, I stay away from the sad stuff on here. Trust me, your convince yourself looking at those sad things makes you happy, but deep down it only makes it worse. It’s like a vicious cycle.
Anyway, the point of all this is, as I said before : I let go of the Columbiner fandom. You know, I still think their motives are interesting, but…. I understand the people who sent anon hate now. I really do. And as if that isn’t bad enough yet, I also think they’re quite right. Gloryfying mass murderers IS wrong. Being utterly obsessed with them IS wrong.I mean, which normal human has a whole wall in his room dedicated to murderers ?
(NOTE : taking an interest in them - as long as it doesn’t dominate your life, I believe that’s okay)
I’m out of the “fandom” now. This was it. Goodbye.
I’ll miss all of you.
You guys, if maybe a little weird, are awesome.
PS : if you want to talk about something, I’m still here.
sext: you are interesting and intelligent. i would love to discuss/share knowledge and alternate perspectives on complex ideals with you
Today is my birthday
So strange to realize I’m turning 19 now,
while actually, I should have been 33 already.
I could have been married by now, have a job, have a family,
but instead, I’m just sitting here….trying to figure out what’s the purpose of my second chance.
Is there any ?